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Classic Front Row, Sofa articles from the days.


And The Oscar Goes to X-Box!

It's been a while since a Front Row, Sofa has appeared. I promise it won't be so long until the next one.

A lot has happened since the last Front Row, Sofa, and I'm going to try and cover the major points of it this week.

First off, a word about CES in Vegas. Wow. I'm still a little overwhelmed by the amount of things I saw there, and I've sent Jay some movies that do a better job of putting it into pictures than I think I could ever do with words. The problem is that each of the movies is pretty large, so I'm trying to cut the size down to something reasonable while still keeping at least some of the video quality. Otherwise, what's the point? Keep watching for those, I know we've been promising them for a while, but now they're done, it's just a matter of getting them into the right file format (feel free to email me if you have any suggestions which are better than Realmedia files).

In some really big news, Sony finally launched the Playstation 2 in Japan, and the launch was definitely big. 980,000 units sold in the first weekend, which is a little short of their goal. Sony claims that supply problems were to blame for the shortfall (which is about 20,000 units short), and there were reports of problems with some memory cards out of the gate. The launch was far from flawless, however. There are some minor problems with the first batch of Playstation 2s, and a few major ones as well. The major problems mainly had to the with the memory card problem above. Apparently some of the 8MB memory cards which were shipped with the Playstation 2 had a flaw which could cause the DVD playback function of the unit to stop working (the drivers for DVD playback are stored on the memory card). What was happening is that when a user would save a Ridge Racer V game onto the card, the drivers would become corrupted. The problem was easily corrected by reloading the DVD drivers from the supplied utilities CD, but of course the average consumer can't be expected to know this. Sony has been replacing the flawed memory cards.

Some users also reported playback problems with some DVD movies, although it's difficult to determine if those problems were related to the Playstation 2 or the mastering of the DVD itself. Several DVDs have had problems on different players in the past, especially more feature-intensive titles like The Matrix - which, ironically, plays back without a hitch. Apparently, playing back DVDs from different regions is as simple as holding down a few buttons while starting the DVD player, so Sony is also releasing a new version of their DVD movie drivers to fix this "problem". Don't expect North American Playstation 2s to operate very effectively as region-free DVD players, which is a shame.

The launch titles were less spectacular than expected, with most gamers complaining that they seemed to be only slightly better (graphically) than currently available Sega Dreamcast games. Sony blames this on a lack of experience with the hardware, since the current crop of games only use the main CPU in the unit, and don't really take advantage of the new features the system offers. It essentially comes down to programmers developing for the unit like they would with any other standard console (Playstation, Dreamcast, Nintendo 64, etc.) and not really developing strictly for the new hardware. Time will tell if they're right.

Overall, though, the launch went off very well, and set a new record for number of units sold in a very short period of time. It'll be interesting to watch over the next few months and see if Sony can maintain the momentum of their launch. All the console units which have launched in Japan with a huge bang like this have had their launch followed by a precipitous drop-off. It's up to Sony to keep that from happening with the Playstation 2.

The North American launch for the Playstation 2 is still planned for sometime this fall. Expect Sony to get all the kinks worked out before they release it. Japanese consumers are very forgiving of first-generation bugs; North American consumers are not. Also, expect Sony to be pushing for some really big titles for the North American launch. Japanese gamers will buy a system with a small launch lineup, if the upcoming titles look promising. North American gamers prefer instant gratification.

Sony is expected to have a massive presence at E3, which is happening soon at the Los Angeles Convention Center. I would expect that they'll unveil some amazing AAA titles at the show.

On the Nintendo front, there's still no real information on their upcoming Dolphin game console (the successor to the Nintendo 64). The big "N" has officially announced that it won't be launched in North America this year (no big surprises there), although it may still be released in Japan before the end of the year (that probably depends on whether any games are ready in time). I will be doing at least one feature piece on the Dolphin as soon as some concrete information is available.

The other huge news in DVD gaming from the past few weeks is that Microsoft finally unveiled their answer to the Playstation 2 in the form of the X-Box. The X-Box has absolutely outstanding specifications, and looks to be a true contender in the upcoming console wars. The specifications are not final yet, but it is expected that the unit will be launched in the fall of 2001. I'll be doing an in-depth piece on this new console in next week's Front Row, Sofa, so be sure to watch for it (I'm hoping to finish the piece on Monday for publication on Monday night or Tuesday morning).

Finally, this Sunday represents the end-all be-all of movie awards shows, The Academy Awards. As usual, the Pierce household will be holding an Oscar party, and this year I'm going to attempt to set up a webcam so everyone can join in on the festivities. The usual tradition with our Oscar party is to invite about twenty people, and about three show up. Sadly, people watching on the web won't be able to partake in the gratuitous amounts of tasty snacks.

I predict no major upsets this year at the Oscars. I expect American Beauty to take most of the major prizes (Best Picture, Director, Actor), I suspect (and hope) Hilary Swank will win Best Actress for her role in Boys Don't Cry (a fantastic movie). The most interesting races this year are in the minor categories, screenplay, sound, effects, etc. After the year they've had trying to produce this year's show, it should be interesting to watch (the new venue wasn't ready in time, the ballots were lost, the Oscars were stolen...what next? An earthquake during the broadcast?)

There are going to be a lot of changes around here at in the next few months, so please be patient as we undergo a behind-the-scenes redesign which will make it easier for the contributors to submit their articles. Right now, they all have to be emailed to Jay who has to find the time to actually post them between stressing out over this bit of work or that.

It's been so long since I've written a Front Row, Sofa, that I honestly can't remember who answered the last quote of the week correctly (but I'll check it when I get home and print it next week if I still have the info.sorry, whoever you are). The quote was from (short pause as he checks the web site to see what the heck the quote WAS from.) American Pie, which is a very entertaining teenage sex comedy for those of you who haven't seen it (think of it as Porky's for the nineties).

This week's quote is from a lesser known title which is available on DVD, but was never released theatrically. This is a tough one, because technically speaking it's not a movie.

"My Daphne, kidnapped again!?"

If you recognize it, email me at Sadly, no prizes this week, because I'm still sorting out what I have left. I'll be adding some more prizes to the bunch fairly quickly here.


Everything At A Yard Sale Was Once New, Including That X-Box

As we enter the wonders of the Christmas season, so do we enter the wonderful world of movie marketing.

I saw a recent report on CNN which stated that during the Christmas season, the number of licensed toy products grew from 60% to 80%. What this means is that instead of seeing original toys, like say Furbies, at Christmas time we see toys which are specifically designed to ride the coattails of some other phenomenon (Pokemon, Toy Story 2, etc.).

This year we're seeing an unprecedented push in movie marketing, thanks primarily to toys related to the huge number of "merchandisable" movies out there. Toy Story 2, Star Wars: Episode I and Pokemon: The First Movie are all producing tons (literally) of plastic, rubber, foam and various other synthetic junk.

Of course, we a all have a bit of Lemming in us. Who hasn't gone out and bought that "special limited edition collector's cup" from Taco Bell or the "Limited Time Offer" for that Hercules hat? We all have succumbed to the evil commercial giant, and as such, we've all contributed to this culture of corporate greed in which we currently live.

Like it or not, an increasingly significant number of movies are being made purely for the purpose of selling toys. Looking back over the "golden years" of cinema, one doesn't see films which would make a good happy Meal. In fact, before Star Wars, the majority of films had a minimal amount of merchandise attached to them.

Small Soldiers is a prime example, in that the toys were designed for the movie was written (and it shows in the mediocrity of the script). Pokemon is another example, although a little different in that the movie was made to capitalize on the popularity of the video games and toys.

Ironically, Hollywood doesn't seem to have learned the lesson that great marketing tie-ins are just as much of a fluke as a box office success. For every Pokemon, Star Wars or Toy Story there's three Wild Wild Wests, Small Soldiers and Lost In Spaces. Even looking at the marketing blitz for Star Wars: Episode I, analysts are disappointed. I've seen SW:EpI merchandise being sold at discount in liquidation stores, and we're not even through the 1999 Christmas season yet.

So what's next? More of the same. After this Christmas season is done, it'll all start anew, and a bunch of companies will make and lose a bunch of money. For the record, one great opportunity was missed: Furby, The Movie. Or was it?

Last week's article on Microsoft's X-Box generated a fair amount of mail, but the best of it came from long-time reader Ben Menix (hi Ben!). Ben stated that he felt the members of the public who used Microsoft products weren't necessarily aware they were using them. He cited examples of people who used Windows, but who claimed they'd never use a Microsoft product. It's an interesting argument, and one best presented by him.

"The well-informed (technology-wise) among us (I'm not pointing fingers or naming names, just using an expression) often overlook the fact that; despite the publicity and the presence of Microsoft Windows on just about every PC sold, most people still don't know what Microsoft is or what it does. It doesn't seem possible, but more than once people have told me that they 'don't use Microsoft products' while watching the Windows98 boot screen on their Compaq! They honestly don't make the connection. They also don't *want* to know about it."

Ben continues to say, "The bottom line is; I don't think as large a percentage of the population as one would think dislikes Microsoft, and I think even fewer are capable of making a conscientious computing purchase without involving Microsoft somehow. Saying, 'I'll never buy another computing product that has Microsoft in it!' is very similar to saying, 'I'll never buy another car that has plastic in it!' It's possible, but most people don't know where to find such a thing."

On the front of Microsoft needing hardware partners to fulfill their X-Box "dream", "Microsoft's bread and butter is the operating system. I feel that the ultimate configuration of the X-box will be OS-centric...Dell, Compaq, and Gateway all stand to benefit from using whatever OS Microsoft designates for the units. By building Microsoft's X-box to Microsoft's specifications, I imagine all three companies stand to save a bundle in Windows2000 licensing and other Microsoft products."

Of course, I could counter that by saying that moves like this are how Microsoft got into trouble with the US government in the first place (albeit, they're probably not scared by the government).

"Basically, Dell may take a hit of $200 per X-box, which will be made up by getting Windows2000, MSOffice and thousands of hours of out sourced tech support."

Ben did give agree with me wholeheartedly (sort of) on one point, though:

"You're right about the reliability and upkeep of a PC/Microsoft based gaming system. It will be a nightmare compared to a Playstation. My only response is that famous fictional but accurate conversation between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates:

Steve: 'Our product is better. We make better stuff.'
Bill: 'You don't get it, do you? It doesn't matter.'

An interesting take on the whole situation, and I'll be curious to see how it plays out over the next few years.

Last week's quote of the week was answered correctly (again!) by Daniel Morrell. I didn't honestly expect him to get it again, but kudos to him. He wins a copy of You've Got Mail this time.

This week, I'm giving away a copy of the Jeff Bridges/Tim Robbins thriller, Arlington Road. This movie is better than you've been led to believe (it's a conspiracy, I'm telling you!). To win it, just be the first person to email me at with the source of the following quote:

Man: I'm fine... I'm fine...
Man: I don't think so. We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw. Does that sound "fine"?


The DVD Owner's Holiday Gift Guide

In the spirit of the holiday season, I thought I'd spend this week offering a few suggestions for the types of gifts people might want to get for their DVD owning loved ones.

As we all know, there are definitely high and low quality gifts you can give people in the DVD arena, so I thought I'd divide it up into good gifts and bad gifts.

Good Gift - A Great Special Edition DVD

Basically, any of the special edition DVDs released by companies like Warner Brothers, Columbia TriStar, Universal, Criterion or Anchor Bay. These companies have made a commitment to quality DVD products which truly push the limits of what DVD is capable of.

Bad Gift - A Not So Great Special Edition DVD

Some other companies, notably Disney and 20th Century Fox, are notorious for releasing high priced "limited edition" DVDs with a complete lack of features. The Disney animated titles are especially bad in this way, featuring little or nothing in the way of extras, a non-anamorphic transfer of the films and an extraordinarily high price tag. Maybe if none of us buy this overpriced garbage, these companies will get the hint. Exception to this rule would've been 20th Century Fox's Alien Legacy collection, if only they had included the notorious "fifth disc" with the box set.

Good Gift - A Good Set of Headphones

While we all love to sit in a darkened room with the volume turned way, way up, it's not always possible. With a good set of headphones (and if you go wireless, avoid infrared headphones, opting instead for radio frequency, i.e. 900MHz, headphones), even the pickiest night owl can listen to the Matrix with glorious sound.

Bad Gift - Cheap Speakers

We all know about the incredible sound quality DVD offers. Why spoil that with a cheap set of speakers? Avoid them like the plague.

Good Gift - A Universal Remote

A good universal remote can make a home theater owners' life a lot easier. Instead of having to dig around for that "other" remote, they can just push the "Auxiliary Function 17" button to get to their flux capacitor controls. The best ones are expensive, but offer super cool features like a LCD display that changes the look of the remote depending on what function is being used. Even some of the cheap ones work pretty well, though. I picked up my universal remote for $20 from Costco, and it works great with all my equipment (it even handles picture-in-picture on my TV).

Bad Gift - A Long, Pointy Stick

While a long, pointy stick might seem like a good idea for setting up all those functions on a home theater, it can do an extraordinary amount of damage to the face plates on the various components. While a stick may seem like a low-cost alternative to a good remote control, it's not. Avoid.

Good Gift - Decent Speaker Stands

One thing which very few of us actually get around to buying is a good set of speaker stands or mounts. These make a great, not terribly expensive gift. Just make sure the speaker stands fit with the décor of the room, and the type of speaker.

Bad Gift - Shelves and Cats

An alternative to speaker stands is a small, wall-mounted shelf. If the person you're buying for has cats, though, don't do it. I made this mistake once, and paid dearly when the shelves (and everything on them) came crashing down with my cats (while I was away at work). Trust me, if you have cats, they'll be up there when you're not at home.

Good Gift - DVD Storage Solutions

Since DVD is new, most people don't have a really good place to put their DVDs yet. Some sort of small shelf or storage unit designed specifically for DVDs is a great gift idea.

Bad Gift - Combination Storage Solutions

The "combo" storage solutions you'll see around which handle DVDs, CDs and VHS tapes are typically not very good. Instead of actually being designed for DVDs, they suggest shoving two DVDs into the space for one VHS tapes. The problem is that squeezing the two DVDs into an inappropriate space can damage the keepcase. Combo units with adjustable sliders should be OK, though.

Hopefully this brief gift guide has given you a few ideas to chew on for the DVD owners on your Christmas shopping list. With the days until Christmas dwindling, I know I've been spending a lot of time thinking about gifts (oh boy, what will I get.oops.I mean, what should I get that great friend of mine).

Last week's quote of the week was answered correctly by none other than Ben Menix (who I quoted in last week's column). He was the first person to correctly identify the quote as coming from the inimitable Bruce Campbell in Evil Dead II. In the scene he's talking into the mirror, so Campbell speaks both parts. A lot of people guessed the quote was from Very Bad Things (in fact, more people guessed that than Evil Dead II), so I guess it was a good one because it threw people off the track.

This week's quote is from a great comedy. I imagine a lot of people will get it right. The first person to guess correctly this week takes home a copy of the great Warner Brothers special edition DVD for The Matrix.

"Say my name, bitch!"

As usual, if you know the source of the quote, email me at


Microsoft's X-File

A few months ago, I did a piece on Sony's Playstation 2 which certainly generated a lot of interest from people. A few weeks after that, I did a piece on NUON from VMLabs. Now, it's Microsoft's turn.

Never one to turn a blind eye to a profitable idea, Bill Gates' behemoth is eyeing the video game market.

To say a lot is known about Microsoft's new console (which is currently code-named "X-Box") would be an outright lie. Microsoft hasn't announced the technology as of yet. In fact they deny that it even exists at this point. Every piece of information about the console (including the information presented here) is rumor and conjecture based on reports from "unnamed sources". It does raise some interesting questions, and a lot of technology has been discussed which is very interesting.

Microsoft is planning on using a high end CPU in the unit (either a high speed Intel Celeron, Pentium III or an AMD Athlon), coupled with a decent size hard drive and, of course, an amazing 3-D graphics chip set The unit will (of course) be Internet-ready out of the box, probably through a regular modem, with an option to go broadband (cable, ADSL). Add to this a DVD drive, and of course it becomes quite obvious why I'm writing about this unit here.

The machine will be marketed for games, movies and as an Internet appliance. Probably in that order of importance.

The speed of a high end CPU like the Athlon or Pentium III would certainly provide enough kick for a unit like this, and the 3-D chip sets which have been discussed (NVidia's GeForce, for example) have enough horsepower to give the Playstation 2 and Dolphin a run for their money. Microsoft is planning on bundling the unit with a modified version of one of their operating systems (currently rumored to Windows 2000).

Of course, with all these components being so familiar to PC users, a lot of people are asking the question, "isn't it just a PC in a set top box?"

The answer to that question is yes and no. Microsoft is aware that the only way to get a "set top box" like the X-Box into homes is by having it play great games. Several companies have released "multimedia devices" and "set-top boxes" in the past, with less than overwhelming success. Luckily, the PC market is loaded to the gills with great games like Unreal Tournament and Total Annihilation. Plus, the PC market also has a ton of mass market games. Everything from computer versions of old board games to Deer Hunter to Myst.

Microsoft is aware that should they release a set-top box which is essentially hardware compatible with a PC, the developers will come. So it seems easy, right? Release a box with a bunch of great games, then watch the money roll in.

Not so fast.

The PC is also plagued by buggy game syndrome. It's not uncommon for a game to be released, then followed up by several patches to fix bugs (or "errata" as industry people like to say) in the game. Essentially, the end user becomes the beta tester. In a sad state of affairs, PC users around the world have become accustomed to this, and resigned to their fate.

Console users, on the other hand, expect more. They expect a product to be released bug-free, ready to plug in and play. No fuss, no muss.

Also, it's not expected that Microsoft will require any licensing fees from the game publishers. Any game developer can release any product they want. While this is great for the publishers, it's not necessarily good for the unit or for the gaming industry as a whole.

Sony, Nintendo and Sega all receive a licensing fee for any game released for one of their units. Any game released for one of their consoles also has to go through an approval process. This means that certain standards (which vary from company to company) must be enforced before a game can be released. It doesn't always work (the Playstation, for example, is notorious for having a load of garbage games even after Sony's "stringent" licensing requirements), but it does keep the amount of junk down. One only has to look at the number of Pac-Man and Mah-Jongg games (some combining both games!) released on the PC to realize that licensing requirements are not always a bad thing.

Should Microsoft decide that they want licensing fees for any games released on the X-Box, then they have another battle. In a classic case of chicken and egg syndrome, developers won't want to pay licensing fees before units are sold, and units won't be sold before games are available. Microsoft could do an end run around this one, though, by using some of their own titles to kick-start the unit.

Microsoft is not planning on building the X-Box hardware themselves. Instead, they've come up with a design which can be licensed to hardware partners (rumored partners include Dell and Gateway) who would build the actual unit. It's also worth noting that this approach has been tried before. Apple tried the same thing with the Pippin (which was a set-top Mac, licensed to Bandai), and 3DO's Multiplayer marked the first serious attempt at licensing the hardware to outside manufacturers. Every time this has been tried in the past, one big monkey wrench has been thrown into the works.

Whenever a big company has entered the videogame market, and achieved any level of success, the money has not been made on the hardware, but instead on the games. If Microsoft wants companies like Dell or Gateway or Compaq to build X-Boxes, then those companies must be able to make money off the hardware. If Sony is willing to lose $200 on every Playstation 2 sold, how will the X-Box compete?

Now, if Microsoft does decide to charge licensing fees, and they share those licensing fees with the hardware manufacturers (i.e. $5 licensing fee per game sold for X-Box, $3 to Microsoft, $2 shared among hardware manufacturers based on their share of the X-Box market), then the hardware people would have an incentive. Otherwise, it'd be pretty much a lost cause for them.

Also, one has to wonder how much flexibility there would be in the X-Box's design. PCs are notorious for their upgrade cycle (if you're a heavy duty gamer, you need to upgrade at least once a year), but if the X-Box is a closed box (which it is expected to be), what happens when the next iteration of processor or graphics chipset comes out? Does the X-Box get upgraded or remain static? If it remains static, game performance will suffer dramatically over the years, because PC games always expect more hardware. Console gamers are accustomed to a five year life cycle for their units, and they're not going to like the idea of upgrading every two years.

None of this takes into account the ill-will people feel toward Microsoft. Very few companies have been successful while simultaneously reviled by the public. Alternate operating systems like Linux are taking off because people are tired of not having a choice. If you ask someone why they use Windows, nine times out of ten times the answer is because they have to, not because they want to. If you asked people how they would feel about a Microsoft car or a Microsoft toaster, they'd laugh in your face. People have had it with Microsoft (as happens with any monopoly). Why would gamers be any different?

If Microsoft does decide to release the X-Box, they'll have an uphill battle on all fronts. But the one thing we all should've learned over the years is to never underestimate Bill Gates. After all, he became one of the richest men in the world by marketing other people's ideas, he has taken over entire markets even though he's always late to the party, and if one of his companies doesn't win a battle, he buys the battlefield (Microsoft Dreamcast, anyone?).

I haven't received enough comments on last week's Dick Flicks article to post a follow-up yet, so keep 'em coming in. I have received a few good ones, though, so a follow up is inevitable at some point.

Last week's quote was answered correctly in about six seconds by none other than Daniel Morrell (again). He was the first person to correctly identify the quote as being from Sylvester Stallone's Rocky. Daniel becomes the first person to be first in with the quote of the week three times...will he go for four? (Do you feel like you're watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire yet?)

This week's quote is from a movie which is in a completely different vein than Rocky (and no, it's not a vampire movie).

"See you around the cell block, Mrs. Robinson"

As usual, if you know where the quote is from, email me at This week's winner will receive an anti-dick-flick, You've Got Mail with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. I would say something witty about this DVD, but honestly, I haven't watched it.


Tricky Dick

The history of film has presented us with countless examples of "Chick Flicks", those movies which are made purely to appeal to the sentiment of the female of the species. In fact, this phenomenon has now grown so large that the success of several recent films has been attributed primarily to the female audience (eg. The Bone Collector and Double Jeopardy) even though there have been strong male leads in the films as well (Denzel Washington and Tommy Lee Jones, respectively).

Add this to the fact that several films which are blatantly oriented toward females have been significant successes (You've Got Mail, Notting Hill, Sleepless in Seattle, etc.) and you can see where the appeal is to the studios. As a matter of fact, Nora Ephron's career has been made solely with these films.

It does make one (me) wonder, though. Where are all the films for the guys? The movies which are geared toward a male audience, and which pull no punches when it comes to plugging into all that testosterone floating around out there? With the exception of Fight Club and Three Kings, there have been very few films in recent history designed for a male audience. Instead, the focus seems to be on diversification. Those films which are geared to a specific audience are altogether too specific (Pokemon) in their audience. There's very little for the 18-49 year old male.

Sure, you could argue that the entire porn industry is based around the hormones of males, but it's not the same thing. We need more than sex. We need violence and foul language and, yes, even a good story to hold it all together. Of course throwing in some gratuitous nudity doesn't hurt.

As such, I present here, my (very incomplete) list of "Dick Flicks". Films which appeal primarily to a male audience, and which can help you get some of that sappy, mushy, "the wife made me watch it" B.S. out of your system.

These are presented in no particular order.

The Terminator Films

The original is the better of the two films, but both are great action fests. And they both have the patron Saint of Dick Flicks, Ah-nuld.

Die Hard

Bruce Willis blows up some way cool stuff in an action film which was so revolutionary that it completely changed the action genre. The first one is an absolute action classic. The third one is passably entertaining. The second is entirely forgettable.

Conan The Barbarian

Ah-nuld. Swords. Blood. Drinking. Scantily clad women. 'nuf said.

Army of Darkness

All three Evil Dead films should be on this list, but AoD plugs into that ever-so effervescent element which makes a Dick Flick that it easily tromps its predecessors off the list. One of the most harmlessly chauvinistic films ever made ("Hail to the king, baby").

Demolition Man

Stallone plays a cop from the future. This film is not only filled with gratuitous violence and mayhem, but also has Sandra Bullock wearing some way-tight clothing, and not doing anything sappy.

Death Race 2000

A true classic in the Dick Flick genre. DR2K has all the elements of a great Dick Flick, heaped on like whipped cream on a bloody sundae.

The Bond Films

James Bond is the ultimate playboy, and as such he gets all the women. Add in the way-cool tech toys, and you have success in the Dick Flick market. Sean Connery is still the best bond. Skip the ones with Timothy (girly-man) Dalton.

First Blood

Stallone sews up his own arm. Coooool. The first sequel (Rambo) is watchable, as long as you leave your brain at the door. Rambo III is a joke.


Parts I and II are classics. Besides, there's tons of footage of people pummeling each other.


I're sitting back, and going "huh?", but hear me out. Most of the women in this movie are topless throughout.

The Indiana Jones Films

Indy gets the Nazis and the girls. The Temple of Doom is weak compared to the other two, but hey, it's Indy! Bonus points for having the best Bond as Indy's dad in The Last Crusade.

Saving Private Ryan

A real war film, and so gory that women hate watching it.


See: Saving Private Ryan

True Lies

The DVD is great, because you can skip straight to the scene where Jamie Lee Curtis strips. Too bad she doesn't go all the way...

The Running Man

Ah-nuld again. Running. And killing people. And running. And it has Richard Dawson, too. Way cool.

Starship Troopers

Denise Richards, nude. Dina Meyer, nude. Blood, guts, gore, bugs. Great special effects. A great looking and sounding DVD. What more do you need?

Send in your favorite dick flicks, and I'll compile them for a future editorial.

Last week's quote of the week went unanswered. The quote came from Jacob's Ladder, starring Tim Robbins. If you haven't seen the film, let's just say it comes highly recommended.

This week's quote is from a classic Dick Flick. It's a gimme, so someone better get it right, or I'm comin' out and crackin' skulls.

"Women weaken legs!"

As usual, if you know where it's from, email me at

If you get it right this week, you win a copy of The Mummy with Brendan Fraser. Sadly, it's pan and scan (I couldn't get a copy of the widescreen edition for giveaway).