Culture Shock

The past week has been a rough one on the world. We were all just getting accustomed to bombs falling on Yugoslavia when two very troubled kids decided to take the lives of their schoolmates in Colorado.

Sadly, as is always the case in instances like this, the media has taken it upon themselves to dissect and decipher the riddles left behind by the killers. They talk about how they were members of a gang called the Trenchcoat Mafia, how they were obsessed with Hitler and the Third Reich, and how they watched violent movies, listened to violent music and played violent video games.

The sad truth is, that these kids had problems long before they ever sat in front of a television to watch The Basketball Diaries, and that Doom was no more real to them than it is to the rest of us. These kids were typical outcast teenagers. Spurned by their peers, they turned toward the small group of outcasts they could call friends. Rage and hate took over their thought processes, and they became obsessed with the one thing they knew could leave a mark. Violence.

Psychologists and so-called "experts" will go on for years about how a violent culture is what created these kids. A culture which doesn't care when its kids are exposed to violent images in their recreational activities. Everything from wrestling to Die Hard to Mortal Kombat will be blamed, and it will all be wrong.

Violence has always been around. The difference here is the shear magnitude of the violence. These kids came up with a plan, obtained weapons, built bombs, and went on a rampage. This is shocking to everybody. Of course it's shocking, after all, they're just kids.

But if violent images on television and in movies were really to blame, wouldn't the world be overrun with instances like this? Wouldn't this be the rule, rather than the exception?

Japanese culture is inundanted with violent images. Violent movies, television shows and video games are the norm there, yet violent crime is incredibly low, especially given the population and population density in the country.

Violent images in the media can trigger a violent response from a small percentage of people, but quite frankly there was something else wrong in the first place. It's a ridiculous ascertain to expect the 99.99% of the people who can separate reality from fantasy to avoid violent imagery because of the .01% of people who can't take it. It's like banning all alcohol because an alcoholic may obtain some, or banning automobiles because some people don't know how to drive. Yes, it would protect society, but at what cost to freedom? If a society doesn't have its freedoms, then what's left?

People have to stop looking for an easy solution and probe more deeply into the problem.

When I was in high school, I was one of the people who was spurned by his peers. I grew up in a small mining community filled with rednecks who didn't care one iota about other people's feelings. I was attacked, physically and emotionally, several times a day for five years (high school where I grew up encompassed grades 8-12), and the so-called authority figures in the school did nothing even though they knew this situation was happening. I suspect this situation is not so different from the one in Colorado.

My parents did not and do not understand what happened to me during those years. I suspect they never will. I've attempted to explain it to them, but to no avail. Quite frankly, they don't get it...or maybe they don't WANT to get it. Either way, the only thing I can say, is that they weren't any help. I suspect this also is not so different from the situation in Colorado.

When I was in a high school, I would definitely say I was "troubled". I was lucky enough to make it through it, because for me their was always a light at the end of the tunnel (I called it "graduation"). If there was no light, I honestly can't say what could have happened. People can only be pushed so far before they snap.

These kids were outcasts in a place they had to go to every day. Imagine, if you will, going to your job every day, and facing intense amounts of ridicule, being attacked, and being expected to just "deal with it". Try it for a few years, and see how it twists your view of society.

I see all these kids who are "victims" of the shooting talking on television about how nobody liked those guys because they were weird, and they weren't social at all. I even saw one of the "jocks" offer up a hypothesis that these kids were jealous because they didn't get as much attention as the football team. None of these kids get it. Don't get me wrong, the kids who were shot and tortured are definitely the victims here, but what nobody seems to be pointing out is that the shooters were definitely victims as well, and the true healing process cannot begin until this is realized. Until we have an education system which is less like a prison, where people are forced to go there and "do their time" every day, we can expect more outbreaks like this. We've all been teenagers, and everyone has felt like an outcast at one time or another. Combine the two, and we're just asking for trouble.

In an interesting bit of irony, these two kids were outcasts in life, and at the memorial service the other day, they became outcasts in death. Thirteen doves were released in Littleton during that memorial service, two short of the total number of deaths that day. For me, the two shooters are the saddest deaths of all, because had someone taken the time to talk to these kids even a few days before, this whole tragedy could've been avoided. The day after the shootings happened, one of their friends was on CNN talking about what it was like to be an outcast. Two other friends of theirs essentially begged for mercy at a memorial service. After everything that's happened, they all still feel like outcasts. I know it's not "politically correct" to side with these "evil" people, but how evil can people this young REALLY be? What are the real lessons to be learned here? And, the deadliest question of all, is anyone learning them?

Of course, I still haven't gotten to another real problem as well. Access to guns in the United States is ridiculously easy. Until there is some real gun control legislation, and something is really done to keep guns away from kids, expect more violence. No other developed country in the world has as much violent crime as the United States of America. No country has as many deaths from gunshot wounds as the United States of America. Quite frankly, the statistics don't lie. Canada has roughly 10% of the population of the United States. Canada has roughly 1% of the violent crime. I'm not saying Canada is perfect (far from it, 1% is still too much violent crime), but there are fewer murders in a year in Toronto than there are in a day in Washington, D.C. The NRA can claim that "guns don't kill people, people kill people" all they want. Quite frankly, the evidence shows that people kill people WITH GUNS. A gun is a remote control for someone else's life, and in this society of fast fix, easy out, channel surfing information overload, guns are a huge risk.

For those of you who are in high school (or younger, even), and are reading, take a step back, and think about how you've treated others in the past few years. Put yourself in their shoes, and if you don't like it, follow every good mother's advice..."do unto others as you would have done unto yourself". It's easy to blame violent media for violence in society, it's hard to look at ourselves and put the blame where it belongs.

OK...time to lighten up a bit.

Once again, nobody got last week's quote. I must be making them too hard. The quote was from Trainspotting, when Ewan MacGregor's character is just getting over a bad case of heroin-induced constipation. It's followed by one of the most imaginative scenes in film history, "the Worst Toilet in Scotland". If you haven't seen the film, rent it, it's unlike anything you've ever seen before. It dares to show why people take drugs in the first place...because it feels good...without skimping on the downsides as well.

This week, I'll make the quote a little easier...

Worker #1: "Oh no! I'm lost! Where's the line? What do I do?" Worker #2: "Help!" Worker #3 "We'll be stuck forever!"

I'll keep it even easier...the names of the actors in this case is irrelevant, all I want is the name of the movie. First one to email it to me at ken@dvdfuture.com gets his or her name in pixels next week.

On the subject of trailers, I received a few responses from readers. One from David Teasdale went something like so, "My HUGE complaint is when you rent a VHS video and there is a preview before the movie for the sound track that turns out to be the movie's trailer but with clips of the artist in the middle. It gives the movie away."

This is something I wholeheartedly agree with. Several times when I've rented tapes on VHS, they've had music videos, or previews or some kind of spoiler right before the movie. I remember my Independence Day widescreen VHS had a making-of feature right before the movie. It revealed several key plot points, and if I hadn't seen the movie already, would've completely spoiled the experience.

I also received some email from Jason Huff in regards to trailers. I disagreed with some of his viewpoints, but that's OK. In regard to the best trailer for the worst movie, he said, "THE FIFTH ELEMENT - This trailer had me rockin' and rollin' in what looked like a fantastic new world. It also contained no plot points and very few spoilers. Unfortunately, the movie was ruined by the obnoxious comedy (of which the trailer had only perhaps a glimpse) and the cheese inherent to the plot."

I absolutely loved The Fifth Element, and found it to be a great science fiction-comedy-action movie. A nice hybrid which clipped along at a great pace. The studio also did a great job with the video and audio transfer on the DVD. I would have to agree that the trailer was great, too. Of course, it's the movie which we disagree on.

When Jason talked about the worst movie trailers, one of the ones he picked was Home Fries. "This is a very entertaining, quirky black comedy of a film. People who went to see it because of the trailer were thrown for a loop, however. Using every last second of loveydovey in the film,. the trailer totally mismarkets the film as a sweet romantic comedy. It missed its target audience by a mile and made very little money as a result."

I would certainly agree that Home Fries missed its target audience by a mile, but the trailer was far from the only problem. See my review of the DVD to get the full picture, but quite frankly, not only did the marketing department not know what this film was, neither did the filmmakers. If really into black comedy, see The War of the Roses, Happiness or Very Bad Things. Now THAT's black comedy. No cream, no sugar.

My favorite comment of Jason's though, was the following: "WING COMMANDER - If you don't have the money to display on special effects, don't bring out the bad ones you do have for all the world to see. A more effective trailer for this movie would have been a single man standing there alone, yelling, 'Hey! Come see WING COMMANDER! You'll get to see the second PHANTOM MENACE trailer!' (Come to think of it, you could advertise a lot of movies like that.)"

This one cracked me up, because it's incredibly true. I'm a huge fan of the Wing Commander games (have been since a waaaaay back when Wing Commander I came out on floppy disk), but absolutely avoided this movie. I have no doubt I'll end up seeing it, probably when the DVD comes out, but I know right now that I'll be disappointed. I'm hoping at best for a movie which is so bad that it becomes a classic "B" movie (like Plan 9 From Outer Space).

I'm still looking for some more interesting trailer commentary, so send those views in! Also, don't forget the quote of the week...trust me, it's not that hard this week...

Until next time, escape into another world...catch a flick, read a book, whatever it takes for you to escape harsh reality. It's been a rough week for the world, time to take a little break.



Life In The Trailer Park

"Now you're going to have to deal with both of us."

So ends the trailer for The Negotiator, telling us that Kevin Spacey and Samuel L. Jackson will be teaming up during the movie. This not only spoils a plot point (and not as major a plot point as you might think), but also is a line which does not appear in the movie.

Hollywood has always been about getting butts into seats at the movie theater, and of course one of the best ways to do that is through the age-old tradition of the movie trailer. Go see The Matrix, and you're treated to a preview of Star Wars: Episode I, that new David Spade movie, and any number of other upcoming films. Of course, what you see in the trailer is not necessarily what you get in the movie.

Remember when the trailers for Twister first appeared? And that great shot at the end of the trailer with the tractor wheel flying right at the screen? Remember it in the movie? Didn't think so. That's because it wasn't there.

How about in Disturbing Behaviour. There were whole plot points touched at in the trailer which didn't make it into the movie (not that it's necessarily a bad thing in this case...anything that made that movie shorter is a good thing).

This practice of including things in the trailer which don't make it into the movie goes way back in Hollywood. I remember the trailer for the Robin Williams film, Toys, with Williams standing in a lush, green (and incredibly Irish) field rambling on about this and that. Not one clip from the film. That may be because the film sucked, but still, at least tell us something about it! Are you going to tell me that out of 118 minutes of movie you can't find 90 seconds worth of marketable material? Why are you even bothering releasing the film, then? You can avoid showing us everything while still telling us something. Remember the marketing campaigns for Godzilla and Independence Day? They told us far from everything, but still kept us intrigued. Say what you will about the films, but you can't deny that the trailers were brilliant.

Of course, telling us nothing about the film is a blessing compared to those trailers which give away the whole thing. Remember Mission: Impossible with Tom Cruise? If you saw the trailer, you saw every part of the movie worth seeing...in sequence! How about the trailers for Men In Black? You saw almost every funny shot which made it into the film. Why bother seeing the movie?

It seems that Hollywood goes through these cycles. We see a few years of trailers which give away everything, then a few years of trailers which tell us nothing. Then they get the balance right for a while before going right back to screwing it all up again.

My picks for best & worst trailers?

Best:

1. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
A brilliant trailer which shows us that the film has a plot (unlike Godzilla), yet still teases us with absolutely beautiful imagery.
2. Jurassic Park
Not one real shot of a dinosaur, but it got millions of people into the theaters.
3. Titanic
Of course the boat is going to sink, just make sure we know it's going to sink unlike anything we've ever seen before.
4. Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Who can forget the liquid T1000 going through the helicopter window...and once again, didn't give away everything about the plot!
5. The Matrix
Shows us "holy crap" fx shots, promises us a complex plot, but doesn't give away anything important.
Worst:

1. Mission: Impossible
Gave away everything you'd want to see in the film. Looked great, but left no surprises in the theater.
2. Living Out Loud
A "comedy"? All righty then...someone forgot the jokes...
3. Lost In Space
"Danger Will Robinson" sounds cheesy no matter how cool the effects are...
4. Toys
Where's the movie?
5. The Crow: City of Angels
At least the trailer didn't suck as bad as the movie...but what is that saying?

These picks are right off the top of my head, and I'm sure after some more thought some better (and worse) trailers will pop into my head. In the meantime, I pass the gauntlet to you.

Send me your choices for the five best and worst trailers, and the reasons why...I'll pick some of the more amusing ones and include them in next week's column. Send submissions to ken@dvdfuture.com

Last weeks quote, "Greed is for amateurs. Disorder, chaos, anarchy: now that's fun!" was answered by a whopping zero people (was it that hard?). The quote is from Brandon Lee's final film, The Crow, and was uttered by the unbelievably cool fellow Canadian Michael Wincott as Top Dollar. His voice is absolutely amazing, we referred to him here as "ten balls" for years before we decided to finally see what his name is. He's also made some stunning appearances in films like Romeo Is Bleeding, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (fast forward all the bits with Kevin Costner) and Alien: Resurrection. This week, I'll make the quote a little bit easier... "Brilliant gold taps, virginal white marble, a seat carved from ebony, a cistern full of Chanel Number Five, and a flunky handing me pieces of raw silk toilet roll. But under the circumstances, I'll settle for anywhere." As usual, email me the name of the movie, the actor and the character at ken@dvdfuture.com. The first person to get the answer to me gets their name up in lights (err...pixels) on this page next week. Until next time...you know the drill...



Independent's Day

Independent films. The last bastion of hope for those of us looking for more than "standard Hollywood fare"? A place where people can see "art" rather than "commerce"? The only way "small" films ever find their way to the "big" screens? A great way for a big studio to make a buck? Maybe all of the above.

This past week has seen the death of the greatest of the so-called "independents". Miramax Films was purchased by Disney a few years back, in a move which studio heads Bob and Harvey Weinstein claimed would not affect the way they operated their business. Last week Bob and Harvey were proven wrong.

Director Kevin Smith's latest opus was originally conceived as a Miramax film. The plan was for Smith to write and direct it (which he did), and then for Miramax to release it, audiences to love it, and everyone to hopefully make a bunch of cash. Those dreams were almost crushed when Disney head Michael Eisner decided the religious content of the movie may be too much for a Disney-owned studio.

For those of you who are unaware, Dogma is a spoof of all things Catholic. It tells the story of a couple of angels who've been banished from Heaven, and are determined to get back in by undoing Creation. It also features some notable performances, like Chris Rock as the 13th Apostle (who was banished for claiming Jesus was black and that Mary and Joseph had sex), and Alanis Morissette (!) as God HERself. From reading the script (which is available on Kevin's website www.viewaskew.com), it's pretty obvious that this film was going to push a few buttons in the religious right. Kevin had no problem with this, and neither did Bob and Harvey Weinstein. Kevin Smith was raised as a Catholic, and as we all know too well, has an uncanny ability to plug into those things which we doubt about ourselves (and in this case, our religions) and make us laugh about them. His previous films have dealt more with relationships (Chasing Amy) and jobs (Clerks)...with a little bit of slacking (Mallrats) thrown in for good measure. It only seems natural that Kevin would move onto bigger things. What's bigger than religion?

After battling with Disney's honchos in a fairly private battle (very little press considering we're talking about Hollywood and controversy here), the end result was that Bob and Harvey Weinstein ended up buying the distribution rights to the film PERSONALLY so they could offload it on some other distributor. This is very odd, because it means that obviously there was no WAY that Miramax could release this film (so how independent are they, then...really?), so Bob and Harvey took the high road and maintained their commitment to Kevin while still providing the opportunity for the public to see what will undoubtedly be one of the best films of 1999.

The question, though, is how long can Disney expect their shining (and Academy-Award winning) studio heads to stay on board at Miramax if they don't let them actually run the studio? How much meddling will be too much before the Weinstein brothers decide to jump ship and start up some OTHER fledgling studio? After all, wasn't it these two who helmed the studio to the point where Disney was actually interested in buying it, and wasn't it THEIR taste in films and THEIR marketing decisions which took the studio to where it is today? Why fix it if it isn't broken?

Unfortunately, this situation is all-too familiar. Very often we're seeing so called "independent" studios having their films meddled with by their larger corporate parents. It seems like the corporate parents are missing out on all the benefits of owning an "independent" studio, while slowly shepherding them into releasing more films just like all the other films that "Hollywood" releases.

Last year we saw October films gasp in horror as Todd Solondz' film Happiness actually contained the elements which were in the script that THEY approved for production. They unloaded it, and luckily Good Machine picked it up so we could see this wonderfully funny and touching film. The movie went on to generate some amazing critical reviews, and the box office was respectable given this type of film. What October really lost, though, was the trust of Solondz. Which studio do you think he'll take his next film to? (Assuming he isn't locked into a development deal with October).

These situations keep happening, and we keep seeing that it's the true "independents" that are releasing the films which are making a difference. Companies like Lion's Gate Entertainment, Behavior, Good Machine and Acclaim Entertainment, who don't have to answer to a corporate parent. They may have some "big brothers" up there who are watching, but the big boys don't meddle because they're aware these companies are more than capable of handling themselves. They're in it is a creative investment, and they're hope is to turn a profit. They're not interested in the usual schlock which comes out of Hollywood, and as such they make films which really connect with their (sometimes admittedly small) audiences.

These are also the companies which actually respect their audiences. We've seen evidence of this in the last few years with the advent of DVD. While some of the largest studios out there (Paramount, 20th Century Fox) stayed out of the DVD game because they weren't sure they could make any money at it, some of the smallest independents out there made an effort to release quality films to the format with tons of extras. They weren't in it for the quick cash grab, but because it allowed the artists to represent their vision in the best possible medium for the home. DVD allows them to add things like commentary tracks, explaining why they chose to light a scene a particular way, behind the scenes footage to show how you can make a large explosion with a tiny budget and cut footage which they may have enjoyed, but felt didn't fit into their overall vision of the film. It's no mistake that the only Disney division which has released any kind of "special editions" of their films is Miramax. Miramax is the only division where the corporate culture gives a rat's ass about the ART.

So to the Disneys, the Foxes, the Paramounts of the world, keep your noses out of the independents. And the Eisner specifically, your deal with the Weinstein's was "anything that's not NC-17". Stick to your deals, and let the people who know what they're doing handle the controversy. They're obviously not afraid of it, even if you are. Besides, when's the last time controversy actually hurt a film? (And why do you think the Miramax label gets more Academy Award nominations each year than the rest of the Disney "branches" combined?)

To get onto other business for the week, the first person to identify last week's quote,

"Don't you know the Dewey Decimal system?"

was John Gardner...he correctly identified the film as Weird Al Yankovic's classic underground comedy UHF (and if you haven't seen it, you should! It's one of the funniest movies ever made.). Even he didn't manage to get the actor's name right, though...it was a bit of a trick question. Whenever anyone thinks of that film, they picture Weird Al in that Rambo outfit, and so they guess that Weird Al is the person who played the part of Conan the Librarian. This is not the case, though. The part was played by sometime film actor, former bodybuilder and friend of Ahnuld, Roger Callard. This is his most prominent role (!), but he also made appearances in Arnold's films Red Heat (as a Russian heavy), Twins and the all-time classic bodybuilding flick Pumping Iron. The muscles on this guy were real, folks!

This week I had a hard time deciding on a quote, but of course managed to come up with something.

"Greed is for amateurs. Disorder, chaos, anarchy: now that's fun!"

As usual, send the name of the movie and the actor who delivered the line to ken@dvdfuture.com.

And one last note, I received an email today from Ian Goggins at Lion's Gate Entertainment, and he mentioned a few things which deserve some clarification.

Initially, it looked as if the Canadian release of Gods and Monsters would use different artwork than the U.S. release, this looks like it is no longer the case, and both editions will use the Universal artwork. The contents of both releases will be the same (with many features still to be determined), although I'm guessing that since this is a Lion's Gate film, they get final say as to what goes and what stays on the DVD. Hopefully the film's writer, director and producers will be involved in its creation (but this hasn't been confirmed or denied yet).

Ian's suspicions lead toward the Affliction DVD release being the same day in Canada as the US. If this turns out to be untrue, I'll be sure to let you know.

Also, it looks like we'll be seeing some more DVDs from Lion's Gate in the near future. No details are available yet, but I know Lion's Gate has access to a number of very interesting films that we'd all like to see on DVD. Keep your fingers crossed.

Also, Ian mentioned that he's looking forward to hear what DVD Future readers have to offer in the way of suggestions for the Gods and Monsters and Affliction DVDs, so email me with your suggestions and I'll make sure they get forwarded to the right people!

Until next time, go check out a movie (Go is good!).



Why I Hate the Mall

Let's start out this week with a little story. Today is Tuesday, April 6th, 1999. Today is also the day that American History X was released on DVD. Seeing as how I'm a huge fan, it seems natural that I would want to purchase copy of this highly regarded film. Normally I would run to The Future Shop across the street from my workplace. However today is my day off from work, so I have to make the short but treacherous journey to a different Future Shop outlet (I live in Canada - Future Shop is the cheapest place to buy DVDs here). It so happens that the nearest Future Shop to my home is in Northland Village Mall, about a ten minute drive.

I hop in my car, and battle the daytime traffic morons to get down to the mall. After much weaving around people who seem to have no idea to drive, I park at the back of the lot (the better to avoid the people who can’t park), and make my trek to the doors. Once inside the mall, I make a bee-line for Future Shop which is just up the hallway.

I’m a fast walker. Even when I’m in not in a hurry, I look like I’m in a hurry. Today I was in a bit of a hurry. I wanted my History X, of course. I’m barreling down the hallway, winding around housewives and kids and punks skipping out of the school across the street, and I feel someone grab my arm. "What the?" I think, as I turn and see a homeless fellow who’s obviously had a few belts of something extremely foul smelling (distilled gasoline?). "Hey buddy, howsabout a couple a bucks?" he slurs to me, to which I give my standard reply, "No!".

"You don’t have to be such an asshole about it!" he replies. "Whatever," I say, and continue my high speed trek down the hall. He runs up beside me, catches up, and grabs my arm again. This pissed me off, so I shoved him. He staggers back, stumbles and collapses right onto a potted tree in the mall. This tree is about nine feet tall, and the pot begins to wobble precariously. The pot tips over, taking the tree with it, of course, and there’s a huge crash. Everyone in the mall turns, and I see security guards running down the hall. I continue my journey toward the Future Shop, the commotion should keep that guy busy.

I make it into the Future Shop, and it takes me a moment to get my bearings. The layout in this particular store has to be the most confusing thing I’ve ever seen. Maybe that guy in the hall was the one who came up with the floorplan? Regardless, after a little searching I find myself in the DVD section (I’m still not sure how I did it). I grab the last copy of American History X on the shelf. Oddly enough, when I’m trying to find my way out of the DVD section another copy mysteriously appears on the shelf. Weird. Oh well on to my journey. In weaving around the people to make my way to a checkout stall, I became jammed in a dead-end aisle (I told you the layout was weird), and found myself staring at a lone jewel case for The Matrix soundtrack. Ah..what the hell I’ll buy it. Maybe this floor plan is deliberate? Regardless, I now have an American History X DVD and a Matrix CD in hand, and I’m on my way to the checkout.

I reach the checkout counter, place my prized purchases on the counter and use my magic plastic (bank card) to pay for them. The checkout lady places my purchases in a clear Future Shop bag and I stumble back out into the mall. Disoriented, confused, a little more broke, but happy.

Of course, today is my day off, so I have nowhere to be. My wife would kill me if I drove home and watched American History X before she got home from work, so what to do? I figured, what the hell, may as well have a look around the mall.

I wander down the hallways, becoming increasingly aggravated by how slow people move (I feel like Neo and the people are bullets), when I come across that giant of giants, Wal-Mart. Now, I should be clear here, I hate Wal-Mart, but nobody can deny they have great prices on some stuff. I figure I may as well wander in. Three steps into the store, I remember why I hate Wal-Mart, the people who shop there. People are, of course, standing the middle of every open space trying to decide which way they want to go next. I swear they should have traffic lights in Wal-Mart, or at least No Stopping signs.

The only section of Wal-Mart which interests me is their photography/cd/video game section, usually located in the middle of the store. I figured Id wander into there and see if Wal-Mart Canada had started selling DVDs yet. Hell, if they had em, I knew they'd be cheap. I wander into the prison camp which is the electronics department. I pass the security guards, towers, electronic barricades and make my way into the heart of the complex. Woo hoo! I make my way through the aisles, taking note of various pieces of computer software, some Playstation games, a few CDs. Absolutely nothing special. I made extra note of the fact that they didn't have The Matrix soundtrack.  Had to know if I paid too much, of course. Nothing. The place is a bust, and I've had enough of the mall crowds.

I weave my way through the guard towers and German Shepherds and scratch and crawl back to the mall entrance. I've had enough. I see a clearing in the crowds and rush for the doors. Just as I'm about to exit Wal-Mart territory, an old man steps in front of me. Hes wearing one of those blasted Wal-Mart vests.

"Excuse me, sir, can I check the contents of your bag?"

Now, anyone who knows me, knows I absolutely HATE this policy of Wal-Mart's. The invasive, condescending, and downright RUDE policy of inspecting customers belongings on their way out of the store. Today I am off work. I'm literally killing time. I have nowhere to be.

"No." Comes my response.

The old man looked stunned for a moment. I don't think anyone had ever said that to him before. He took a step back, and I gathered my momentum to continue my journey. He stepped in front of me again.

"I'm sorry, sir, I have to check the contents of your bag."

"Why?" I asked.

Again, a stunned look.

"Because we need to know that you haven't taken anything from our store." Came the reply.

"Then let me repeat myself", I said. "No."

I started to walk again. The Wal-Mart drone followed me out of the store, then grabbed my arm. Another pet peeve of mine is having my personal bubble invaded by strangers.

I stopped again. "Take your hand off of me," I said plainly.

"I have to check your bag, sir", the drone responded.

I then removed the man's hand from my arm. "Do not touch me", I said. I was a little more forceful this time.

I should make a note at this point that, as I mentioned earlier, Future Shop bags are clear. You can see right through them. Wal-Mart does not sell either of the items present in my transparent bag. Because I'm in no hurry, and I'm beginning to enjoy this verbal exchange, I fail to point this out to the Wal-Mart door drone.

I continued walking again, knowing full well that the drone would follow. As sure as clockwork, he does. He said something to me again, (along the lines of I have to check your bag, I'm sure), and this time a mall security guard overheard the commotion. HE then decided to get involved.

The mall guard comes over and asks what's going on. The Wal-Mart drone explains his side of the story, then I explain mine. The guard looks at me and says, just let him check the bag.

"No." I say, he has no right to inspect my belongings. He has no probable cause, and his store does not carry any of the items contained in this transparent bag.

"I can't let you leave until one of us inspects the contents of your bag and sees a receipt", says the guard.

"If you want to detain me, then you'd better call a cop", I reply. Much to my surprise the security guard actually calls one.

Now, this cop must've been in the mall for some reason already, because he arrived on the scene in seconds. He calmly asked what the problem was, then listened as everyone gave their side of the story. I made extra effort to point out that Wal-Mart (or Mall-Wart, as I referred to it at the time) did not carry any of the two items in my transparent bag.

The officer then proceeded to explain (lecture is more like it) to the Wal-Mart drone and security guard that they had no right to inspect my belongings if I refused when asked. He went on to explain further that they had no right to detain me unless they had an eyewitness report of me shoplifting something, and that by grabbing my arm the Wal-Mart drone had essentially committed assault and I could, if I so desired, press charges.

Of course, I'm not interested in anyone getting a criminal record because of this incident (after all, I was just having some fun), so I declined to press charges. I did, however, ask to speak to the manager of that particular Wal-Mart. After a short wait, one of the managers came down and I made it clear that I would not tolerate this type of behavior by their employees in future. Much apologizing and ass-kissing ensued, and I went on my way home to listen to The Matrix soundtrack (which is fantastic, by the way).

Anyhow, I suppose the moral of the story is to know your rights, and don't let anyone infringe on them. I know similar incidents have happened in the U.S., and I don't know if the same terms and conditions apply there regarding search and seizure. Needless to say, those people who wish to shop at Wal-Mart (poor suckers) in Calgary, are encouraged to go to Northland Village. I suspect their employees are now a little more informed in regards to what their powers are.

All right. On to things DVD (or at least more DVD) related. As I mentioned, I purchased the American History X DVD today, and I'm looking forward to watching it. I probably wont get the chance tonight, but maybe tomorrow. Once I've watched it, Ill be sure to review it.

In other DVD-related news, I've been talking to some people at Lions Gate Entertainment (who released the fantastic Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar-winner Gods and Monsters as well as the Oscar winning Nick Nolte/James Coburn film, Affliction). Hopefully Ill be able to fill you in on some of their upcoming DVD releases later this week. Ill even try to get some information on the features of the DVDs for you.

I mentioned The Matrix soundtrack earlier. For those of you who enjoy the type of music heard throughout the film, this soundtrack is absolutely perfect. Its got an interesting mix of music covering Marilyn Manson, Rage Against The Machine, Ministry et al. Very good industrial/alt-rock/gothic feel to it. The music really does fit the film perfectly.

Last week I used the quote "That'll have them rolling in the aisles". Bob Mandel was the first person to correctly point out that the quote was from the Best Picture Oscar winner, Shakespeare in Love. It was, of course, Geoffrey Rush who delivered the line as theatre-owner Phillip Henslowe after being told about the comedy which would become Romeo & Juliet. Its a fantastic film, and if you haven't seen it yet its well worth the $7-9. Don't let the word Shakespeare in the title turn you off.

This week, the quote strays as far from the Oscars as possible

[Insert Austrian accent here] BIG HINT!
"Don't you know the Dewey Decimal system?"

As usual, send the name of the film as well as the actors name to ken@dvdfuture.com.

Thats it.

Until next time, buy American History X on DVD and avoid Mall-Wart!



I've Seen This Somewhere Before

We've all noticed it. One movie comes out, and it seems like minutes later another movie based around the same thing comes out. What is the deal?

It seems to go back a long way...I can remember the summer of 1985, when we got three "Science project" type movies at the same time. We had Weird Science, My Science Project and Back to the Future. Of course, of these three movies the one that people actually care about is Back to the Future. Weird Science was fun, and My Science Project sucked. We can trace this pattern back further than this, and definitely into the present.

Sometimes the clone movies are simply an attempt by one studio to cash in on another studio's hype (i.e. Wing Commander: The Movie coming out mere months before Star Wars: Episode I...and I know both are from 20th Century Fox, but is it any different if it's their own hype they're cashing in on?). Another good example is Roger Corman's Carnosaur coming out on video right around the time that Jurassic Park hit theaters. Corman's never been very good at subtlety.

Other times, it's simply a lack of originality in Hollywood. In 1997 we saw Dante's Peak (good, but not great) and Volcano (if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all). The studios in this case actually tried to get together at one point to make one volcano movie, but their "visions differed too greatly". You don't say...

Recently, this problem has gotten worse. This past year we've seen two "big rock is gonna destroy the earth" films, a couple of World War II epics (although, I don't think many people would find a lot of similarities between these movies), tons of "teen" flicks and about a dozen bad Scream clones.

Right now we seem to be under the attack of the "TV shows within a movie" era. First we had the (tremendously great even if some other people at this site don't agree) Jim Carrey, Ed Harris, Peter Weir-directed The Truman Show. This was followed by the very pleasant Pleasantville (which I enjoyed immensely and will be buying the DVD for tomorrow). This past weekend saw the introduction of the short-titled EdTV (I haven't seen it yet, so I have no comment nor opinion on this film, though when I have one you'll be the first to know).

The thing that makes this current crop of different movies which are the same are the great differences between them even though the basic theme is the same. In all three movies we have characters who are "trapped" in a television world and can't get out. Yet in all three movies we see different messages being delivered.

In The Truman Show, Peter Weir is showing us many different things. From one man's struggle to escape from the life which has been built for him (something we can all relate to at times, I'm sure) to a parable for our own society's unhealthy fascination with anything which happens to be on TV (whether it's good or not). And these are just the obvious themes. Forget about going into symbolism. (Oh, and as a side note in the great Truman Show debate of '99, let me add one comment regarding commentary about The Truman Show's ending --- I found it be easily summed up in one word "perfect").

In Pleasantville, writer/director Gary Ross is showing us two major things. One is that the way we look back on history is not necessarily the way it really was. We've all heard our parents, grandparents, elders go on about "the good ol' days", but in reality they weren't much different than the way things are now. Maybe a little slower paced, but the same things happened. People just didn't talk about it as much as they do now. The other thing we saw, of course, was a very obvious metaphor for any kind of social discrimination. Whether that is racism, homophobia or anti-Semitism. The "black and white" versus "color" argument can be used in any of these contexts. Pleasantville is not as subtle as The Truman Show, but at least the audience won't miss the point.

In EdTV, Ron Howard is attempting to show the world that celebrity is not all that it's cracked up to be. Unfortunately, Howard has always been an audience's director (not that there's anything wrong with that), and as such I expect that there won't be much subtlety in the film. The message will be out there for all to see, and in most Ron Howard flicks some character at some point will explicitly point out how things work to everybody. It happened in Splash, Cocoon and even Apollo 13. Don't get me wrong, I have great respect for Ron Howard as a director (I especially enjoyed Apollo 13), I just find that his movies don't hold a lot in the way of "surprises". You always gets what you pay for.

Of course, all this examination kind of misses the point of this whole diatribe. Why is it that Hollywood seems to be devoid of original ideas? I think the answer comes down to the basic inbreeding and money-grubbing that is Hollywood. If someone somewhere in Hollywood thinks someone has an idea that can make money, they all jump on the gravy train faster than Lionel Hutz at a ten car pileup. You get all these producers and writers and even directors (Michael Bay, anyone?) who can't seem to make enough money fast enough. They all decide that "disaster" movies are the next big thing, or "teen" movies, or whatever, and then we quickly see all the originality sucked out of these ideas. It usually takes an outsider to bring a fresh idea into the fold. We saw it with Kevin Smith and "Clerks", Kevin Williamson with "Scream" and even Todd Solondz with "Happiness". There are rare exceptions to this, but they seem to be only the most powerful people in Hollywood. Steven Spielberg, James Cameron, and a select few others.

So what's the solution? Kill all the producers? While that would probably work, it'd be messy, and then NATO would have to step in and start bombing, which would cause the San Andreas Fault to rupture, which would cause all of California to drop into the ocean, which would cause most of the world's movie making equipment to be destroyed, along with most of the movies, and since most of the people in Hollywood are like cockroaches it probably still wouldn't kill them...I could go on...

I suppose the real solution is for filmgoers to start voting with their dollars. Don't go see the big pieces of celluloid crap. We've already seen a propensity toward this with some recent would-be blockbusters which turned out to be just "busters". Films like Meet Joe Black, Lost In Space, of course Godzilla, and the end all be all of bombs (for the moment), the Postman. These films are proof that all the marketing hype in the world can't overcome bad word of mouth. You'll have a great opening weekend, and then "BOOM!" you're broke. I would argue that a great counter-strategy to give the studios an idea of where to go, is to go see some of the smaller independent films out there. That's not say that all the indie films are good (far from it), but at least they're experimental, and in a lot of cases, very moving. They're usually well-written, well-acted pieces of art. Sometimes the stories don't work, but if you read the reviews you can get a taste for what you might like. All that aside, though, I have to prove my hypocrisy and say the movie I'm most looking forward to this year is Star Wars: Episode One. On the other hand, Lucas has complete creative control, so it's like a really big independent film (that's my story, and I'm stickin' to it!).

Anyhow, I suppose it's time to wrap up for the week.

Oh, and in a strange twist of fate, the first (and only...is anyone out there?) correct response to last week's quote was from our very own John Roberdeau. It was, of course, from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. This week I need someone else to get it, because John's last name is far too difficult to type.

And the quote is...

"That'll have them rolling in the aisles."

I was going to use "Whoa" as this week's quote, but then I figured I'd get a response for every movie Keanu Reeves has ever made. By the way, that's not a hint, just a comment (and a little dig of course), and I am planning on seeing The Matrix within the first six minutes it opens (but I do that with all "big" pictures).

Anyhow, until next week, www.whatisthematrix.com?